Russia, Weddings & The Snow

I was watching a re-run of Spooks the other day and Harry was quoted as saying "if you need a feel good factor, organise a Royal Wedding".

And so Kate & William marry next year, cost to the tax payer £1bn, loss predicted by the CBI of having a bank holiday £7bn. Exactly what we need.

Russia have just been appointed the hosts of the 2018 world cup, just as wikileaks say Russia is run by the mafia and FIFA say most of Russian football fans are right wing thugs, allegedly.

Still my share portfolia has made a 10% gain today so i am off to Mayfair with Baxter to celebtrate.

If Private Eye publish my latest letter i will be made.
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Free Speech for the Stupid

I have been frequenting the HYS board at the BBC over the last few days and i am shocked by the staggering ignorance of many of the posters. I could understand if i had stumbled upon the letters page of The Daily Mail or some other out of touch tabloid. But no.

Even on the message board at the castle people are blaming immigrants on the woes of blighty, squatters for being alive, George Bush on not being dead etc..

When Bush / Blair decided to launch their crusade against Iraq there was alot of pro war sentiment on the forum, now its all "we shouldnt have gone to war". Well, too bloody late im afraid. I for one was always against this course of action and spoke up against it only to be chastened by what I thought were intelligent people.

Hopefully HYS does not represent society, hopefully it is people baiting others for fun, but if we take what they are saying seriously then boy i will be on the first boat out of here...

On another note Rolls Royce are scoring with the Chinese and losing face with various airlines. (My little flurry on their shares may have paid off)

And as for David "we really want your trade and will only mention HR as a token measure" Cameron's little jaunt to China, well it just goes to show who's really in charge of the world now.
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The Death of British Industry

As the UK becomes ever more obsessed by Strictly Come X Factor Dancing I have been pondering the yet to come fate of Rolls Royce. One of our best companies and one of the last companies in the UK to actually make anything.

I have flown the A380, a cumbersome machine but an enjoyable flight, only ruined by the time spent getting off and unloading the thing. But to have an engine explode is a frightful affair. It happened to me once in Laos flying Air America and i still bear the scars from that little affair.

If Airbus are right and there is a design fault or build fault in RR's engines then RR will be wrung out like BP were over that spill in the Caribbean. Already their shares are dipping..

Which leads me to think that this is truly the end for British manufacturing. Soon we will be owned by the Chinese as we cant pay off our debt and they can.

I spent a wonderful night in a Mayfair club at the weekend with Baxter and met some wonderful people including an ex computer hacker, a hedge fund manager, an ex stripper and a retired stock broker. If only life was as simple as drinking Vintage Moet.
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Pants, Bombs, UPS and a new Enemy

..and here we go again, not taking away the fact that blowing an airplane out of the sky is not a good thing to do, the media have whipped themselves into an absolute frenzy over the finding of a few (or maybe one) printer cartridges which may or may not have contained explosives being sent to Chicago Jews from a Yemeni student.

Following? Well the alleged student has links with "The Master Bombmaker" (so far so James Bond..) who is a friend of "Osama Bin Laden" who may or may not be dead. Oh, and our wonderful security didnt find it, we were allegedly tipped off by a "Saudi Arabian"

I have no idea what is going on but i do know that this weekend also saw two bombs being found in Ireland, planted by "dissidents", a bombing in Turkey and an awful lot of killing in Iraq and Afghanistan, lots of natural disasters and millions dieing from Malaria and bad sanitation.

On the positive side the pope is considering an apology for all the pedophile cover ups.

I gave up reading news papers along time ago, media frenzy is to blame. Obama should just come out with it and say "Yemen have been bad and the USA need another war but a positive one, unlike Afghanistan and 'Nam'.

A Yemeni student?? Please.

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War, Winter and Damp

Gorbachev has warned NATO that victory in Afghanistan is not possible. I tend to agree with the old boy on this one. We have been there 9+ years and have achieved very little, apart from killing a few tribal leaders, civilians, insurgents and increased the supply of Opium.

The USA should have read the history books before venturing into this neck of the woods. And what about Osama Bin Laden, why is nobody talking about him anymore? Do we believe the rumours that he died a few years ago or the rumours that say he doesn't actually exist?

Pointless - Public opinion no longer matters in this day and age. People in power will rough trod over all to achieve their objectives and throw the necessary spin so that the prols wont rise up.

The weather is getting me down, it is damp grey and miserable in the way that only the UK can be.

And the long predicted winter of discontent is on its way..
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Greed

For the last few months we have been told that Greed is bad and that we need to tighten our belts and be more frugal with our money.

So, how can one jumped up little oik have a hissy fit one day and then demand a £200,000 per week salary the next?

Two questions remain;

1 - Has Sir Alex lost his usual managerial acumen?
2 - Why hasn't Rooney been stoned to death or lynched at the very least?

On the one hand you have this media show and on the other Portsmouth FC are fighting liquidation.

I predict that the people of Manchester will rise up and say they have had it with Mr Rooney and his complete disregard for reality and the public and his total and utter bare faced greed.

If i were the spud face nipper i would go into hiding post haste.

PS - as for the re-opening of the whole David Kelly affair, well, I shall be coming on to that later...
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Cuts, Riots, Apathy and being away

Has it really been that long?

I have been in the Far East recently, a mixture of work (which due to HM's OSA I cannot divulge) and a bit of R&R.

I have only recently returned and this weather is causing me all sorts of problems. Spending time in 30 plus degrees then coming back to single figures can be a shock to the system to say the least.

I spent yesterday in the club watching that frightful Osbourne chappy mumbling on about this and that interspersed with conversations with Baxter and a fine 12yr old malt.

I am surprised today that the prols haven't taken to the streets like our friends across the water. Our Govt has made cuts and changed retirement ages considerably more than Zarcosy has.

The public sector are up in arms and waving their marxist flags in the air, still some say that this will give them a taste of what the private sector is like.

And why ring fence the NHS? There's a pit that seems to guzzle lots of money. Keep A&E as that is a wonderful service, but get rid of the back end bit which is where all the money is squandered, do away with NI contributions and make everyone go private, like the USA.

Politics is tiring, everyone has an opinion, we have a massive debt and are headed the way of becoming a 2nd rate country that everyone vaguely remembers. A bit like Liverpool FC. But without the Red Sox bail out.

Im off to see Finbar, my old hedge-fund / investment banker friend later, Im sure he'll have a lot to say on whats going on. He's also consulting with one of the top UK companies on how to move more tax liabilities off shore, cant disclose for obvious reasons. If HMRC got their arse in gear that would be an £8bn gain.

Perhaps trading in Opium again is the answer, its worked before.
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A weekend

I have been advised by my lawyer friend not to post anything about the alleged Russian Spy Scandal, needless to say I have alot of opinions on it and for once i will keep them to myself.

I was right about the Spanish winning the Tour De France though, even though he won after being a little un sporting on the mountains, but then again such is life.

I am still recovering from a party at Baxters house on Friday, it finished when the sun rose and the fireworks and company were delightful.I was talking to a wonderous lady about about the pleasures of life. Admitedly she doesnt like golf or jazz for that matter but i do love the company of the fairer sex.
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Spain, Football and Guns

Well, its been a while. Needless to say I have been busy and have had no access to a PC and thats all I can say about the affair. Apart from those who know me will know.

And so I return to disappointing South American football and Spain who along side wimbledon will be winning the football and the tour de france. Its a shame their country will be bankrupt by the end of the year.

Summer has finally arrived as have the hordes of undressed, over tattoed, sunburnt and generally irksome prols. Obviously they cant afford their two weeks in spain this year due to being unemployed and have therefore infested the shores of blighty instead.

And another lunatic takes on the British countryside with a grudge and a gun.

As for the Budget well, when are we going to realise that we cant have something for nothing. Slash welfare, the bloated NHS and the parts of the public sector that drain our coffers. There. Said.

I am sick and tired of hearing the bleatings of the unemployed, welfare hungry and the left. We are here because people spent money they did not have. Simple.

Thats why our national debt is increasing £10,000 per second.

And as for BP, well, one only has to mention Bopal and the hypocrisy of the USA government.

Im off to see a show with Baxter tonight, havent seen the cad in a while.
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Iceland & Elections

One day we bring down the Icelandic banks and the next they halt European air travel and bring a massive reduction to climate change. Ironic.

The election has gone all "X-Factor" and the LibDems have never had so much free advertising, Nick and Gordon loved it, Dave just looked uncomfortable.

My beloved SAAB has had lots of money spent on it to get it through its annual raincheck.

HMRC are sending me cheques then six months later asking for them back.

My bank is hassling me as my credit card was used to buy a one way flight to Syria. Yes I have been there, many years ago, but i can assure you i would buy a return. Believe me you would want one.

Modern Life is intolerably rubbish. If it wasn't for golf and my sojourns to various clubs with the likes of Baxter and my latest filly (a tad older this one, experience is truly everything but nothing excites like the fountain of youth...) I would be kicking this mortal coil.
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Elect the Dead

And to think we have a whole month of this.

As usual the papers and TV are whipping us into an election frenzy.

Let battle commence......

I for one am completely sick of the whole affair already. I want neither Brown / Cameron or Clegg or their associated cohorts to run this country.

And lets get one thing clear. The Economy is screwed. It will be screwed if Labour carry on, or whether the tories, lib dems, greens or the BNP are in charge. We are in debt and we as the population will have to clear this debt. Whether it is in the form of a raise in NI, fuel duty or a cider tax one way or another we will have to pay.

Ive lived through the misery of the 60's and 70's, the rise and fall of the 80's and 90's and the gluttony of the 2000's and believe you me, it really doesn't matter who is at the helm if the ship is sinking.

I will be (or trying to be) ignoring the media for the next month.

I have forayed recently again into the world of Have your Say which depresses and amuses me in equal measure, everyone is an expert on everything and nothing. The election issues will no doubt spark debates on stealth taxes, immigration, unemployment, the NHS, new drugs, social problems, chavs, asbos, the world cup.. you name it.

I was however cheered by seeing Man Utd lose last night and the bitter reflections of Sir Alex.
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Politics

Now I am back to my usual cheery self and the horrors of my little sojourn to France have diminished and are a distant and dull memory (I wish the aches were but I have been told to expect them to be around for a while yet) i can return to my usual tirade of berating the british public for being stupid.

Perhaps stupid is too harsh a word but I am getting fed up with everyone blaming everything on the Government and Gordon Brown. Sure they aren't doing the best job in the world, but name me one government that has?

Everything is now a "Stealth Tax" (and what actually is a 'stealth tax', is it another tabloid construct and if it was stealthy then surely we wouldn't know about it) and the problems of the individual are blamed on the facts that we don't lock up pedophiles, don't kill serial killers, pay too much TV license, a new drug craze is abound, we are taxed too much, mrs miggins pies are flatulent, cheryl celeb is unhappy as her hubby is doing the rounds with another bint, and it goes on and on and on and gives me a headache.

Lest it be known that everyone is an expert now, everyone knows everything and everyone has an opinion on everything.

And opinions are just that, opinions.

No one can think anymore beyond the knee jerk reaction-ism caused by the tabloids (and now the broadsheets) Everyone is completely desensitised to the suffering of the extreme poor, the needy, those that live on a dollar a day and those that dont have access to water or those that are living in war zones.

As long as they dont have to pay another tax (and why should everything be free??)they can celebrate the cult of celebrity and the church of consumerism then everything will be alright.

Wake up and smell the concrete.
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Car crashes and all politicians are mad

Well. I have to say its been a frightfully long time since I have written. Its a long story, but the abridged version goes something like this.

Baxter and I have been in the south of France, a mixture of Golf and skiing with the usual distractions en route (mostly filleys and French wine). After one frightful day both because of the weather and a damned irritable spell brought on by the filleys and french wine we managed to snowplough our car into a tree.

Needless to say this wasn't very good for my constitution and neither was the week or so I spent in that abomination of a French hospital. Nothing serious, a mild concussion, cuts, bruising that sort of thing.

The car is a write off and Baxter and myself are now in wranglings with the car hire company as to what constitutes an Insurance Excess, 2,000 Euro's apparently, as clause 123.56.9 sub paragraph 3.

I was laid up in hospital being attended to by the most brash and it has to be said down right ugly french nurse (with bad breath to boot) i have ever had the misforune of casting my eyes upon.

Obviously I have private health care and this was the best they had to offer. I did indeed ask to be airlifted home but my requests were rebuffed.

Baxter was kept in over night. I was kept in for four. The food was abominable and the smells wretched. If Baxter hadnt arranged for a couple of fillies to visit me on my last two eves I would have escaped.

I have not felt this helpless since my foray into (and subsequent capture in) Syria many years ago, which is another (and yet unprintable due to HM's OSA) story.
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Have your say

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/profile/?userid=14354176

I see the I.T. boys at The Castle now have nothing better to do than change the Have Your Say forum, still at least my name doesn't exceed the 16 letter allowance that was enforced previously upon me.

And it still doesn't stop the same inane comments being published.
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big brother is watching you

Like most people, I read Orwells 1984 at Eton, I re-read it in my early twenties and I have just read it again for the third time.

Damned good foresight if you ask me. For we are now living in an Orwellian prediction. I am filmed by god knows how many cameras each day, I am told I am being filmed when I travel, shop, walk, eat and everything else I do.

Whenever I hear "CCTV is being used for your safety" I hear "Big Brother is Watching You" instead

All wars are good and interchangeable, enemies become friends become enemies, the media is feeding us trivia to placate the masses and we are constantly being told to be vigilante and to beware of terrorists.

Some days I feel that we are in the society that Kafka, Orwell & Huxley predicted.

And why is nobody protesting? And why does nobody care? And really, do we want to know that Cheryl celeb is changing her name?

I am in Oxford, the animal rights activists will be out today, being filmed by the police and the security guards...

Time for a drink, Im meeting Baxter at one of the union clubs later.
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Stupidity and ignorance

I am more irritable than usual. If people arent being stupid, they are trying to sell me things I dont want, telling me about things I do not care about, opinionating about topics I have no interest in, sharing remedies I already know, telling me whats in my best Interest, walking in front of me, driving like they have no care for anyone or generally annoying me in some way shape or form.

How did society get so pre occupied and messed up? On the whole I like people, I like talking, socialising, sharing Ideas and having fun. I especially enjoy the company of women. However, when people get together they become dumb.

How on the one hand do we create people like Enstein, Shakespeare and Bach yet on the other create people like Jordan, Cheryl Cole and Tabloid journalists?

Its enough to drive one to distraction.

Tonight I am in town, Baxter, Finbar and I are going to the Theatre. It had better be a good play.
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Football

As Portsmouth FC find themselves in court with a hefty tax bill and large debts (as well as being sued by former players) one is left quizzing where it all went wrong.

A club of over 100 years has now succumbed to the disease that is festering within the whole premiere league. That of Greed.

The death of football came about when satellite TV bought all the TV rights and then players became celebrities and demanded astronomical salaries. Games are now scheduled to coincide with the requests of Asian Gambling syndicates who have more interest in football than we do.

Manchester Utd are reported to have debts of over £700m. No business can survive like this. (Unless your a bank and can get 'subsidised' by the government)

I empathise with the portsmouth fans but as football goes I couldnt care less.
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Cars

Baxter certainly knows how to entertain, my head is a little addled from our session down the club and i am in a nostalgic mood.

Take cars for instance - I don't care for cars nowadays, living in town there is no need, however during my days as a bodyguard i enjoyed the pleasure of many (Aston Martins & Maseratis being my favourites) and in the forces i enjoyed the pleasure of driving all manner of battle wagons

I have been on advanced driving courses, evasive and aggresive driving courses and enjoyed many a weekend drifting and hand brake turning many a car on the track (that Clarkson fellow would be proud)

I even had the mispleasure of rolling a rather nice Audi in a chase with some paparazzi who were intent on photographing the celeb i was driving around. Who she was I have no recollection, apart from her pins were to die for.
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Whiskey

And today I will be intoxicating myself with a number of drops of the golden fluid, and all at Baxters expense!

We will be holed up in another one of his private drinking clubs, somewhere near Marylebone. And an afternoon I am very much looking forward to. The topics of conversation will be limited to golf, whisky, Baxters latest christmas cake filly, guitars and jazz. (incidentally Baxters latest filly has moved back home after a hissy fit about not being able to have full access to Baxters credit cards, If it were me she would have gone a long time ago, but then Baxter has always been more tolerant)

And today I have no interest in car recalls, football clubs being sold for the 4th time, bints getting married, or mps expenses. Or even that infernal message board at the castle.

Hat tip to old blighty as they say.
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Guitars

Today I am ignoring the BBC, Have Your Say, Politics, Golf, Fillys, Murray v Federer, Taiwan, Blair and everything else that makes me irritable to write about my one of my favourite things; Guitars

I have played since I was at Eton, i have studied music to some degree and have used music to escape a number of times throughout my time (especially in the forces and my time as a body guard)

I am forever amazed at the possibilities one can achieve from a guitar from the sublime jazz of Joe Pass and Al Di Meola to the blues/rock of Hendrix and Page and even to some of those 1980's speed freaks like Van Halen and that Vai chappy

I prefer playing something a little more sedate nowadays, more chords and melody than soloing. The fillys love it too, being good with my hands apparently sends them wild.

I was learning a little piece by Handel last night, Gavotte, I venture into the classics rarely on the guitar, too rigid a formula, but i do like to hear a well played piece (give me Paganini anyday)

Milo, my nephew prefers some of this "down tuned" stuff and teaching him chords with more than one number in is a challenge to say the least. (a G13b9 chord will always sound good after Dmin9 but try explaining that in the context of modern rock, although Milo does appear to be drawn to the realms of diminished chords, the locrian mode and altered scales)

Please note that tomorrow I will be back on track...

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Tony Blair and The War

Well, needless to say that I dont have a cat in hells chance of having anything published on the BBC Have Your Say forum on this one.

Mr Blair is being "interviewed" at the Chilcot Inquiry as anyone knows. The BBC are taking the step of a live feed on their website and good on them.

However, dont be fooled (like the rest of the public) that this will actually achieve anything. Take my word for it that Wars are planned long before Joe Public has anything to do with it. The problem with this one is that Blair hung his hat on the WMD and 9/11 thing, both of which have been proven to be incorrect. There were no WMD's and the links between 9/11 and Iraq are tenuous to say the least.

Its his conviction that irks me; "I felt it was the right thing to do", now, the public like to have things done in their interest and not one persons interest, even if he is the PM. Now tell me, if this conviction was used to remove Saddam and have a regime change, where was this conviction when say Papa Doc was running things in Haiti and Mugabe in Zimbabwe ?

He is a Liar, he is a politician, lying is what they do best. For whoever's (and there many) vested interests this war was waged in believe me Mr B will not be held accountable.

Now, if George Bush was in front of Chilcot that would be worth watching.
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Cold

Despite being in my autumnal years I can still cut it on the slopes. I have been in the alps again with Baxter. We hired a small villa in a remote French town with a couple of filly's, a crate of wine and a small collection of jazz.

It has to be said it was a tad chilly but I can ski with the best of them and can even give these young snowboarders a run for their money, what with their baggy clothes and urban and weed induced attitudes.

We spent a damn fine week and ignored the goings on in the world. I have now returned to infernal traffic problems, a leaking boiler and a tabloid frenzy.

We are soon running into an election and I always feel irritable around this time of the year.

Still, we will be out of the recession tomorrow and we can focus on the better things in life.

Chin up.
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Have Your Say becomes the voice of the far right

Lets face it, it was bound to happen sooner or later. once everyone has returned to the daily grind of life and the snow retreats to whence it came then people start attacking immigration and scarily, Islam, as a source for all their woes.

The Govt has outlawed Islam4UK, what that actually means is left unclear, but anyway, their march is banned. Oh yes everyone cries, they shouldn't be here, they are stealing our jobs, children, pets, our tax money, welfare, selling crack infested Pitt bulls to pedophiles.

I had always thought that this knee jerk reaction to the pointlessness people feel in their lives was the bastion of the tabloids. Clearly not, it has now entered the vestibules of The BBC HYS.

And of course reasoned argument will never be seen, it will be one headline after another with little or no substantiation.

England is a racist country. Or rather England has a racist and sinister underbelly.

And to think i have seen duty in the middle and far east, for the likes of this diatribe;

Absolutely right to ban this lot. Look, freedom is not free, and there are limits even to freedom of speech. When you have a bunch of benefit-scrounging, British-hating wasters screaming for death to "the West" (although they seem happy to live here and take money other people worked for) and all the freedoms that generations of Britons have fought for - that is beyond the pail. These people are traitors and should be dealt with by the courts as such.

Peter P, Barnsley, United Kingdom

Im sorry Peter, but its time you spend some time in the library reading about the following;

1 - Freedom
2 - Welfare
3 - Taxation
4 - War
5 - Islam
6 - People

Until then, and only then, comment on what you now clearly know bugger all about.

I would however like to thank Val for restoring my faith in human nature, but thats Devon for you, very relaxing;

What a lot of little englanders! No organisation should be banned. Tha leads to the slippery slope to ward book burning and censorship. All major religions are peaceful, if you go back to original concepts. There are Christian extremist who preach doom and disaster as well as muslim extremists but most people of all faiths and none are able to distinguish between people and concepts. Most people want to live peacfully together.

Val, Devon
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2010 and snow

2010 was a damned fine book by that Arthur C Clarke fellow. I am hoping that 2010 the year will be a damn fine year too, although the way I am feeling now it appears that things are transpiring against me.

I dropped a jar of organic pasta sauce in waitrose today which smashed on the floor much to my horror. I was then told by some spotty oik that it was quite common for the jars to jump off the shelves for no apparant reason and that I shouldnt worry.

I am glad the silly season is nearing its end, I have had far too many nights out, drunk far too much wine, brandy and the like and have eaten copious amounts of rather rich and exotic food.

Needless to say my new filly is testing my stamina too.

I am off for a jaunt of skiing next week to my favourite resort in france, where all the celebs go.

Mountain air should do me some good.
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