A long time ago I was happy, I had finished my last tour in the Army (in some god forsaken ex-communist despotic cess pool of a nuclear power country) and was looking forward to a string of liaisons with young fillys who go for the military type, writing my memoirs and discovering the finest whisky known to man (Tyrconnell single cask is the closest I have come by so far, for the record) when I was offered a job from some ex-SAS type that I knew from the school days.
It was as a security / body guard for the rich and famous, A listers, B listers, Z listers, Hedge Fund Managers, Porn Stars, MP's you name it and so for a period of 8 or so years I shaved my head, wore black suits and Aramani sun glasses. (I am trained in a number of martial arts and have also trained and fought in armed combat with some of the most dangerous and psychotic people one can imagine.) This was a happy time for me as I knew my place and the general goings on in the world past me by.
And this was also before the period when the world started becoming a little wobbly after the shenanigans with those tower blocks in NY and the start of endless wars in countries we shouldn't be in. (I must be getting soft in my twilight years or that pasting Baxter gave me yesterday has made me remorseful)
It is only now however, and with a fair modicum of hindsight that I see the media and politicians for what they really are along with the stupidity of people posting inane babble on message boards like HYS.
Must dash, another chum is shouting me for drinks, I should never refuse an old duffer like Cuff by any means.
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