Ice and Snow

I have taken the wise decision to hole up at Baxters club for a few days and endure the hospitality of the fine bar staff and catering persons.

We have eaten finely, kept warm and polished off a good few bottles of the golden stuff.

We have been entertained by the music of Joe Pass, Al Di Meola, Bach, Wagner and last night during a particular rowdy session with some like minded people here (and some fine looking fillys on the staff) we gave it some with Ride of the Valkyries sounding out.

Needless to say heads are fragile today and i shall be having a quiet day and will be on to HYS to see whats going on.

As for leaving, well, why would one want to when company is so good and the outside is so cold (reminds me of an extended stay in northern Siberia, but that as they say is a another story)
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Killing in who's name? 2

I have been thinking about this and discussing this issue with Milo (my nephew in case you have forgotten)

It brings forth a multitude of questions;

- Why is a christmas number one so important
- What is pop music but a manufactured trend which goes back to the beatles
- Simon Cowell is only continuing the legacy of the the pop moguls before him
- RATM were on a major label in 1992 and were seen as slightly manufactured in their day
- X Factor is the destroyer of real talent and the moulder of pop stars
- Why does it over shadow world events like Copenhagen
- Why do people struggle to organise themselves against real enemies like famine, war, injustice
- why am i writing about it

Baxter phoned earlier, wants to meet me in the club in mayfair with a bottle of 12 yr old Jura he wants a hand with.

Cant argue with that.
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Killing in who's name?

Milo tells me that the public has spoken and that Rage Against The Machine are the new christmas number one. Everyone on Facespace got together and bought the single and hence the new nobody that won X-Idol wont be a christmas number one.

What i would like to know is why there is a Have Your Say special on this and why a protest song against the Los Angeles Police should be appropriate for christmas?

Strange times indeed, we have an inch of snow and the UK comes to a complete standstill and not for the first time. (Milo was stuck in paris with four fillys thanks to Eurotrains but I didn't hear him complain)

I was in the Himalayas once and was holed up in some flea ridden pisspot of a village for three weeks because eight foot of snow fell in two days. We survived on yaks milk, honey bee brandy and an assortment of unknown dried meats and rice. And not one North Face coat in sight.

People don't know when things are harsh and when things are just a little uncomfortable.
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"Have Your Say" experts (sic)

As we all know, everyone is an expert, my award today for tabloid journalism and not really knowing what he is talking about goes to Steve. The question is how to further fund the Afghan War.


So we have money to bail out banks so that RBS can try to pay £6billion in bonuses to its staff. But we don't have the money to pay for staff and equipment in the middle of a war. Interesting that the hole in the defence budget announced by the NAO this morning is also £6billion. Shows who the government really values.. and it isnt' the young people who put their lives on the line. The sooner we get a chance to deliver a verdict on them the better.

Steve, Northwich

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More irritated than usual

I have swine flu. Serves me right for being in Mexico. I have suffered all manner of things in my life but none so pathetic and infuriating as flu.

I have been shot at, beaten, tortured had dysentery, malaria, giardia, operations been emotionally blackmailed, married, divorced have dealt with addictions of one sort or another yet none have ever given me that complete sense of hopelessness as Influenza.

Damn it. If ever a disease was invented by a woman this would be it.

Have Your Say and The Castle are irritating more than ever, people writing as though they are total experts on everything.

Still, on the bright side, Ive met a damn fine filly who's tending to my hot toddy requirements on a nightly basis.

A few more days and ill be right as rain, which is probably just as good as I have a few xmas parties to attend to; the regiment, the service, that other lot, some hedgies, old etonians and then there's the family too.

Now where did i put that bottle.
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Golf, Sun & Sea

Well, whilst the rest of you were enjoying the rain and the squabbling that passes as politics nowadays, Baxter and I were having a jolly old time in Yucatan, Mexico.

For a third world nation of drug traffickers i cannot fault the Mexicans hospitality, food, cerveza, golf courses, ancient ruins or chicas.

They do however, have a lot to be desired for dress sense, music and whiskey but these minor issues are far outweighed by the above (apart from the malts that is, that alcoholic cactus juice they palm off is rancid at the best of times.)

We hired a grand old vehicle and drove the route from Mexico City (a damned polluted hell hole if ever i have been to one, the worst being Kabul, but there I did have irate tribesmen shooting at me)to Cancun, as everyone knows as "Las Vegas by the sea"

We stayed at some quality Hyatts en route and enjoyed large amounts of the local cuisine and firewaters whilst being entertained by the locals.

Not once did i wonder about Browns dilemma, Camerons future, the battle between Murdoch and the Castle, inane comments on Have Your Say or the stupidity of large sections of the British Public.

In a word, bliss.

Instead I worried about decreasing my handicap, dysentery ,mosquitoes, bandits and women of a wanton nature!
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Holiday

I have just returned from a glorious week playing golf and endearing myself to the locals of Mexico. Baxter called me to say pack my clubs, shorts and sunglasses we are off to Central America.

Needless to say I jumped at the chance but unfortunately had no access to what is called "wi-fi" or "roaming" so I will have to update my blog in retrospect (and when I haven't been poleaxed by the local firewater)

As for the golf, Baxter and I left the score at evens, a rather amicable turn out after the thrashing I had on the first day.

Hasta Luego (as they say)
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China V USA

I wasn't going to Blog today - my previous rant has sated my needs and Im in the midst of packing for my annual retreat, however, I have been drawn to the HYS site, again, and have been reading some of the comments with regards to Obama's little sojourn to the far east. Some of the comments I have to say are quite thought out and reasonable.

A vast difference form the usual political (sic) diatribe that is written there.

However, my award for the most paranoid person on HYS this week goes to this posting;

"I don't trust Obama, and I definitely don't trust China. No good will come of this.

Mike "

Mike obviously has a good grip on politics and the world as a whole. I suggest he either goes out more or reads more.

Now where did i put my passport..

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Never post a blog afetr a tipple

Note to self: Never publish a blog when one has spent the day drinking fine malts and chewing the fat with ex-hedge fund managers.

I mean, one only has to look at the incorrect use of grammer, punctuation, tense and capitalisation.

My old school master would be turning in his grave.
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And what would I do if I won £45million

Apart from getting handwriting lessons and / or a typewriter (or a PA for that matter)
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Brown and Cars

I am in a frightful mood this evening, I have been driving around the home counties for one reason and another for the last two days and have come across all manner of accidents, breakdowns, spillages, fires and moronic driving like its the end of the world.

On one occassion It took 2 1/2 hrs to travel 5 miles, It would have been easier to walk had it not been so cold and wet. The transport system in this country is a joke. If anyone wanted to bring the UK to a total standstill they would jacknive lorries on all of the major trunkroads (M1, M25, M5, M27, you get my point), traffic would come to a complete stop as would the country.

And yesterday when it finally did get moving I had an altercation with a frightful chap driving a Ford Mondeo, lucky I took note of his number plate as I do have friends in high places and this oik will be losing his licence one way or another.

It looks like GB is in for a bit of a rubbing too from those dispicable chaps at The Sun, I had to write into HYS to have my views known. That poor Janes Lady, fancy being that open to exploitation. My sympathies are with her for her loss, but I say.

Im off to Oxford again tomorrow, meeting the Prof who has a few problems with some builders and a box of cubans he needs to share. I think his latest Christmas Cake is wearing him out and he needs some male company. Not in that way I hasten to add.


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Remember the Fallen

* 60,000,000–72,000,000 - World War II (1939–1945)
* 20,000,000 - World War I (1914–1918)
* 20,000,000 - Second Sino-Japanese War (1937–1945)
* 5,000,000–9,000,000 - Russian Civil War and Foreign Intervention (1917–1921)
* 3,800,000 - 5,400,000 - Second Congo War (1998–2007)
* 2,500,000–3,500,000 - Korean War (1950–1953)
* 2,300,000–3,800,000 - Vietnam War (entire war 1945–1975)
o 300,000–1,300,000 - First Indochina War (1945–1954)
o 100,000–300,000 - Vietnamese Civil War (1954–1960)
o 1,750,000–2,100,000 - American phase (1960–1973)
o 170,000 - Final phase (1973–1975)
o 175,000–1,150,000 - Secret War (1962–1975)
* 300,000–3,000,000[91] - Bangladesh Liberation War (1971)
* 1,500,000–2,000,000 - Afghan Civil War (1979-)
o 1,000,000–1,500,000 Soviet intervention (1979–1989)
* 1,300,000–6,100,000 - Chinese Civil War (1928–1949)
* 1,000,000 - Iran–Iraq War (1980–1988)
* 1,000,000 - Second Sudanese Civil War (1983–2005)
* 1,000,000 - Nigerian Civil War (1967–1970)
* 900,000–1,000,000 - Mozambique Civil War (1976–1993)
* 800,000 - 1,000,000 - Rwandan Civil War (1990-1994)
* 800,000 - Congo Civil War (1991–1997)
* 570,000 - Eritrean War of Independence (1961-1991)
* 550,000 - Somali Civil War (1988- )
* 500,000 - 1,000,000 - Spanish Civil War (1936–1939)
* 500,000 - Angolan Civil War (1975–2002)
* 500,000 - Ugandan Civil War (1979–1986)
* 300,000 - First Burundi Civil War (1972)
* 300,000 - Darfur conflict (2003-)
* 230,000–1,400,000 - Ethiopian Civil War (1974–1991)
* 220,000 - Liberian Civil War (1989 - )
* 200,000 - Sierra Leone Civil War (1991–2000)
* 200,000 - Algerian Civil War (1991-
* 200,000 - Guatemalan Civil War (1960–1996)
* 150,000 - Lebanese Civil War (1975–1990)
* 150,000 - North Yemen Civil War (1962–1970)
* 125,000 - Eritrean-Ethiopian War (1998–2000)
* 103,359+ - 1,136,920+ - Invasion and Occupation of Iraq (2003-Present)
* 100,000 - 400,000 - Western New Guinea (1984 - )
* 100,000 - 200,000 - Indonesian invasion of East Timor (1975-1978)
* 100,000 - Persian Gulf War (1991)
* 100,000–1,000,000 - Algerian War of Independence (1954–1962)
* 97,207 - Bosnian War (1992-1995
* 75,000 - El Salvador Civil War (1980–1992)
* 69,000 - Internal conflict in Peru (1980- )
* 60,000 - Sri Lanka/Tamil conflict (1983-2009)
* 60,000 - Nicaraguan Rebellion (1972-91)
* 50,000 - 200,000 - First Chechen War (1994–1996)
* 50,000 - 100,000 - Tajikistan Civil War (1992–1997)
* 45,000 - Greek Civil War (1945-1949)
* 41,000–100,000 - Kashmiri insurgency (1989- )
* 30,000 - Turkey/PKK conflict (1984- )
* 30,000 - Sino-Vietnamese War (1979)
* ~28,000 - 1982 Lebanon War (1982)
* 25,000 - Second Chechen War (1999 - present)[106]
* 23,384 - Indo-Pakistani War of 1971 (December 1971)
* 23,000 - Nagorno-Karabakh War (1988-1994)
* 20,000 - 49,600 U.S. Invasion of Afghanistan (2001–2002)
* 14,000+ - Six-Day War (1967)
* 15,000–20,000 - Croatian War of Independence (1991–1995)
* 11,053 - Malayan Emergency (1948-1960)
* 11,000 - Spanish-American War (1898)
* 7,264–10,000 - Indo-Pakistani War of 1965 (August-September 1965)
* 7,000 - Kosovo War (1996–1999)
* 5,000 - Turkish invasion of Cyprus (1974)
* 4,588 - Sino-Indian War (1962)
* 4,000 - Waziristan War (2004-2006)
* 3,000 - Civil war in Côte d'Ivoire (2002-2007)
* 2,604–7,000 - Indo-Pakistani War of 1947 (October 1947-December 1948)
* 2,000 - Football War (1969)
* 1,975–4,500+ - violence in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict (2000 -)
* 1,724 - War of Lapland (1945)
* 1,500 - Romanian Revolution (December 1989)
* ~1,500 - 2006 Lebanon War
* 1,000 - Zapatista uprising in Chiapas (1994)
* 907 - Falklands War (1982)
* 62 - Slovenian Independence War (1991)

Hedge Funds

Whilst at his club Baxter introduced me to an old dear friend of his who has just retired from the hedge fund industry and has just gone through a divorce to boot, delightful chap, name of Finbar something or other. We spoke late into the evening about all manner of things, but mostly about the state of the country, the economy and the population. His company took a bit of a battering with the whole "sub-prime" fiasco but like most hedgies I have met weathered the storm and came out making a damn fine profit.

I myself have never trusted banks, I have invested in various things over the years, antiques, wines, art, property, land and such forth so I have never had the joy of dealing with banks to the level that most of the prols do. And i for one am very thankful for this.

I have been reliably informed that we should have let HBOS and Northern Rock fail instead of propping them up with tax payers billions and to this end do empathise with peoples outrage, they should have gone the way of Lehman.

But, thats my knowledge of money. And it is true what they say it is the root of all evil. And declaring war in the name of god. But best not talk about that one.
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Afternoon in London

I have to say that its always a pleasure to be back in the big city after a night out elsewhere. The professor was exceptional company last night and on royal top form. For obvious reasons i cannot declare his identity but "Prof Lee" will suffice. Like my esteemed colleague Baxter, Prof Lee also has a taste what we call the christmas cake filly, and he was proud to show off his latest. A very pretty little thing from the far east. She is studying Russian Philosophy.

The Professor is also an ardent commentator on politics and the media and was keen to hear about the blogging exploits of yours truly. Our last discussion of the evening, or should I say our last sensible discussion of the evening was about the absurdity of the daily mail and patriotism.

Dont get me wrong, Im all for singing about and defending the rights of old blighty, but when oiks like Nick Griffin are let lose all manner of things can ensue. Lest us not forget we are a nation of warmongers living off the riches of the slave and opium trade. Thats our empire and our legacy.

(it should also be noted that during my long and illustrious career in HM Forces I kept these opinions to myself, one of my tours in Afghanistan in the early 90's was for the protection of the local 'crop' from pillaging tribes, I have and will always defend our country but lets be under no pretensions as to how we got here)

At the moment I am currently sitting in a very genteel hotel bar in Fitzrovia sipping tea and watching the media types and pop stars strolling past, and will shortly be meeting Baxter and then off for a jolly good flutter at a private club he knows. Life doesn't get much better than this.

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Morning in Oxford

A shoddy nights sleep last night, compounded by the irritations of having to sleep in a poor quality room at the Randolph.

However, the professor and I had a splendid evening in the Eagle & Child imbibing a number of high quality malts and being entertained by a number of his very attractive and intelligent students. Today I am having a slow breakfast, updating this blog and watching cyclists go by, particularly fetching are the young filly's with their vintage bicycles with baskets on the front carrying their books. Reminds me of summers long ago in the south of france.

I digress, its easy to get distracted in a town full of so many beautiful women, the only city comparable on this front is Tel Aviv, but slightly more dangerous. Something about women with machine guns.
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Europe - HYS

Nothing like mentioning the Lisbon Treaty to get the blood boiling of all the jingoistic tabloids and pseudo patriots. I will not be entering into any such discussions other than to say its a little late for pulling out. So my award for stupidity and for not understanding politics goes to the following post on BBC's HYS;

No refurendum = No vote for Cameron
Simple.

Alex, England

Im out in Oxford tonight, invite from an old professor friend, dreadful golfer but what he doesnt know about whisky isnt worth knowing, he has a splendid pad in town and I for one am looking forward to meeting some of his 'students'
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HYS - What are they talking about??

I have taken it upon myself to start naming "Have Your Say" posters and posting an example of their comments here, this so that you can understand my feelings towards the inanity of the HYS board and people's comments in general. I will then have a monthly vote for the most stupid. Today's gem on whether T Blair should become EU president is this;

"When I read details of front runners, 2/3 eclipsed Blair, for different reasons

When I read the world's most famous advance intelligence, aka Man's Maker's Manual, aka endtime Bible prophecy, Daniel 7's 'terrible 4th beast' is the EU revived Roman Empire, forecast 3 times there to crush, trample & devour victims - till the Ancient of Days crushes it

It is prophesied there as 'partly strong, partly brittle & will not last'

Meanwhile, it spawns the Antichrist Beast of Revelation 13 & 17

Ian "Mr Versatile", Liverpool"

Now if anyone would care to enlighten me on what on earth this chap is ranting about please let me know!
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HYS - Drug Advise

My my, Have Your Say is having a field day with the resignation / sackings over scientific advise to MP's and true to form The Castle has buried any interrogation or discussion on the Nimrod Inquiry. Not that HYS has any political sway or anything.

Being "in the know" I am an avid fan of Spooks which is returning this week. A most accurate portrayal of our secret services if ever there was one. The link? Well they once did a story about advisers and another about media manipulation. Watch them and seek out the parallels

Ok, so the book "The Big Breach" was a novelty when it came out but it didn't exactly set the fires burning.."i was sacked,but i cant talk about it, i was on a mission which i also cant talk about..." - my point? Media has vested interests and decides what the proletariat should be interested in. I mean how many more weeks does the Katie / Peter thing have to be in the press?

With regards to the drug advisers, they are having Warhols 5 minutes and will be forgotten about next week. Mark my words.

On a brighter note, Baxters new filly wants to move in with him, ha ha! Having a christmas cake is one thing but having her "live in" well, unless its the house maid this sort of thing will only end in tears, the court and emptying bank accounts.

Pre Nup anyone?
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Another one bites the dust.

As I enter the dark teatime of the soul and stare out across my land to see the wind tossing branches of trees about and the rain lashing against my windows, I feel a warmth within from a fine vintage malt I have just quaffed and I am settled by the crackling of an open fire but I feel at odds again with the government. And more specifically their inability to take or listen to any advice.

As Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs member Marion Walker decides to do the long walk in protest, Alan Johnson MP is given yet another headache.

Now, dear old Alan has set his stall out on the fact that the scientific fraternity are opinionating against government policy and hence undermining the government. To keep a stable government dissent must be dealt with quickly. However, when government policy is proven wrong by the scientific fraternity what can one do, to U Turn would be catastrophic for Alan Johnson etal, therefore he has to stand by his decision, even if it is wrong.

I am sure it has ruined his weekend to boot.
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The Sacking of Professor David Nutt

Well, lets well and truly bury the Nimrod fiasco with another incredulous fiasco like the sacking of the governments drug advisor because Alan Johnson doesnt like his advice on drugs

Im afraid public opinion is against you on this one Alan and sometimes as an MP its best to keep your mouth shut.

On the other hand its not the first time Govt's dont listen to their advisors, look at that poor Kelly fellow.
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Nimrods and Cannabis

I see 'they' are trying to down play the damning Nimrod report written by the esteemed Charles Haddon-Cave QC by re-igniting (sic) the cannabis classification debate.

The facts here are simple, H-C's damning inquiry concluded "in my view, XV230 was lost because of a systemic breach of the military covenant brought about by significant failures on the part of all those involved." and also lets not forget the gem of a quote "Its production is a story of incompetence, complacency and cynicism. The best opportunity to prevent the accident to XV230 was tragically lost,"

He said the MOD were Lamentable. I am unsure of his full brief and what strings were pulling his verdict but I can hazard a guess at the arms dealers / the MOD / lobbyists and the PM, however, for once a cover up it wasnt. In light of the current wars we are fighting I am unsure as to what spin can be put on this.

The publics perception is that the military cant afford guns and planes hence our troops are being killed by inadequate equipment, rather than being killed by the IED's planted by the local militia who hate the west and the UK / USA especially for killing their comrades and family members. So to release this report awakens my quizzical interest.

HC-QC has made a few enemies but has had his retribution for alleged deeds of old, well thats what I think.

So, lets bury it along side the old debate about whether a bit of 'kif' will send you ga-ga and whether Jacqui Smith knows what the hell she is talking about.

I am sure the Nimrod case will be mentioned when BAE take the docks for alleged (sic) bribery. I for one will be in court for that one, as a voyeur obviously.

On a brighter note Cuff and I had a fabulous evening quaffing a few malts and enjoying the finer pleasures of cuba's tobacco industry. He really is a damned fine fellow.
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Before I was irritated and opinionated

A long time ago I was happy, I had finished my last tour in the Army (in some god forsaken ex-communist despotic cess pool of a nuclear power country) and was looking forward to a string of liaisons with young fillys who go for the military type, writing my memoirs and discovering the finest whisky known to man (Tyrconnell single cask is the closest I have come by so far, for the record) when I was offered a job from some ex-SAS type that I knew from the school days.

It was as a security / body guard for the rich and famous, A listers, B listers, Z listers, Hedge Fund Managers, Porn Stars, MP's you name it and so for a period of 8 or so years I shaved my head, wore black suits and Aramani sun glasses. (I am trained in a number of martial arts and have also trained and fought in armed combat with some of the most dangerous and psychotic people one can imagine.) This was a happy time for me as I knew my place and the general goings on in the world past me by.

And this was also before the period when the world started becoming a little wobbly after the shenanigans with those tower blocks in NY and the start of endless wars in countries we shouldn't be in. (I must be getting soft in my twilight years or that pasting Baxter gave me yesterday has made me remorseful)

It is only now however, and with a fair modicum of hindsight that I see the media and politicians for what they really are along with the stupidity of people posting inane babble on message boards like HYS.

Must dash, another chum is shouting me for drinks, I should never refuse an old duffer like Cuff by any means.
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Is the ban on MP mortgage claims enough? (Have Your Say)

Well, never in a million years will my tirade on this subject be published at the Castle. Especially as i am feeling doubly put out after yesterday when Baxter slipped in a birdy on the ninth which left me quite out of pocket on a particularly rare bottle of Oban at the club. Still, on the bright side Baxter's latest christmas cake was most put out by our drinking habits and left in quite a stink for an "early night", ha ha! Serves him right!

Anyway, to the matter in hand, in my opinion MP's are only doing what the rest of us cant and that is milk expenses for all they are worth! If your are told you can claim your second (or tenth) mortgage you are jolly well going to, regardless of what the proletariat think. Employ your wife? Absolutely, as long as she is claimable too.

I know far too many MP's to comment personally except to say that the words Ivory Tower could be battered around. They are only bending the rules that are in place and as such the welfare-ites bend the rules that are in place for them (who incidentally are usually the first to whinge about wasting tax payers money, make them work for dole, that will sort them out)

So whats my point? Im not sure except to say the Media will not let this one lie so if you are going to claim for your eastern european wife / cleaner / duck house, make sure no one knows about it.

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Have Your Say (revisited)

As the BBC's Have your Say goes from one banal question to another, it leads me to wonder who actually reads the HYS board?

To summarise the HYS board;

1 - The BBC will ask a topical question.
2 - Someone holding a view from one end of the spectrum will totally agree with the point in hand.
3 - Someone with a view from the other end of the spectrum will totally disagree
4 - Someone will then post something completely missing the point
5 - Someone will try to post something humorous (with witty name to boot)
6 - Someone will blame the current / previous / future government for the issue at hand
7 - Someone will blame religion / democracy (or lack of it) / immigration on the point at hand
8 - Someone will quote someone else's post and criticise spelling / content

This assumes that the BBC will actually post your point of view and not "moderate" (censor) it

Some topics generate thousands of posts (Nick 'oik' Griffins appearance on Lions Den) whilst others will be swept aside (Lolita the Otters appearance in the new Winnie the Pooh books)

I see that even Private Eye is doing a parody of the message boards. Ian Hislop is a damn fine chap and has obviously frequented the Have your Say board for inspiration.

As I wait in the lounge with 'wi-fi' and 'elderberry' at hand typing this, Baxter has arrived in his latest Jag with his latest christmas cake filly under his arm. (A damn fine looker with legs to die for if I may say so.)

Anyway, must off, we have a wager on the 9th hole and this evenings tab will be riding on it!
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Warren Buffet or Nick Griffin

Having the displeasure of meeting both of these jumped up little oiks I am at a loss as to who is the worse, although I have been told that public opinion currently detests financial gurus above right-wing sociopaths

Have Your Say

I am irritable due to the needless and provocative censorship of the BBC's Have Your Say Forum and my endless battles with the moderators. I have taken matters into my own hands, and with the help of my young nephew, Milo, I have entered what people are calling the 'blogosphere'. I will endeavour to post considered and reasonable responses to the issues of the day, or any day for that matter or whatever is frustrating me at any particular point. It is early in the morning and i am due for a quick round with Baxter and then we will be polishing off a fine bottle of Jura at his favourite club in mayfair. A fine day indeed. As for those rascals that have been crashing puma's well, sympathys to all involved but really.
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