DC goes to Algeria

So, Honest Dave Cameron becomes the first British Prime Minister to visit Algeria since its independence from France in 1962.

And lets face it Algeria doesn't have a lot going for it unless you like sand and Oil.

Bored of chasing Islamic Fundamentalists and Jihadist Terrorists (the media's words not mine) in the Far East and the Middle East we have turned our attention to North Africa, which has always been a bit volatile to say the least, except maybe Morocco, probably something to do with it's indigenous herb.

Algeria has a similar approach to hostage takers as the Russians do (and here one only has to look at that night at the theater with the Chechnyans) and Dave is going to find out what really went on and to see if we can sell some more weapons, I mean send some more troops.

Meanwhile as we enter the umpteenth war chasing the latest boogeyman the UK populace is becoming increasingly concerned about the cost of fuel rising and why marathon runners are taking amphetamines.

I was once stationed in Algeria, awful place, due to HM's OS act I cant talk about it. Needless to say the sand got everywhere.

Im out with Baxter tonight, Michelin restaurant in the West End then off to a private club in Soho. I am awaiting my Chauffeur as i type...

FatTax and Mali

A week or so ago it was announced that the UK would not be sending troops to Mali.

Today it is announced that the UK is sending troops to Mali.

This isn't the first time our government has lied to us. Remember that issue of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?

On the same day as this quite frankly appalling news of the UK getting dragged into yet another war to rid the world of 'terrorists', and on the same day more people are needlessly murdered in Syria and Egypt the news in the UK is about whether sugary drinks should be taxed as there is an obesity epidemic.

What happened? Doesn't anyone care anymore? We have been lied to so often that we chose to ignore this Orwellian present that we live in.

I was back at the gym today, one of these 'Virgin' ones in town that is regretting buying the Lance Armstrong training bikes. When I was working as a bodyguard I would be in the gym for at least three hours a day. And that is partly why people are obese nowadays; they are just plain lazy. Make gyms free, instead of the government taxing, why don't they give something instead.

Or encourage smoking.

Dreamliners & Stealth taxes

It wasn't so long ago that the mighty Airbus A380 was grounded with teething problems. Now Boeing's flagship Dreamliner has gone the same way.

Unfortunately it is the Japanese who have bought the first fleet and who have suffered the first problems, with batteries of all things.

As an avid aviation fan I am hoping that this is just a minor glitch. I remember flying in Indochina back in the day and trying to land without an engine. No one can fly planes like the Vietnamese.

On another note, I recently bought a plane ticket and whilst reading the small print (as one does) I came across the following fees which made up the total price;

1 - passenger duty

2 - service charge (UK)

3 - service charge (overseas)

4 - solidarity tax (?)

5 - civil aviation tax

6 - airport tax

7 - govt, authority & airport tax

8 - fuel surcharge

9 - airline surcharge

One day flying will become so expensive only the rich and famous will be able to afford it, or is this another way of stealth taxing the rich?

HS2

I was watching Billy & Susannah on BBC's brand new dumbed down breakfast show for those of the intellectually challenged and they were interviewing an MP about the merits of HS2.

HS2 for those who don't know is a £33 billion railway linking London with the North. London is already linked to the North, but this link will take around 40 minutes off the journey.

It's not being built for a few years and it has to be said the populace aren't really in favour of this expenditure, especially when everything else is being slashed and we are heading for triple dip recession

There was a time when our railway system was the best and the envy of the world, our underground was a major feat of engineering and we were the leaders of the new world. Anyone who has spent a few hours in the summer stuck on the Central line will no doubt have their opinion on this.

HS2 is a complete waste of money, we need to seriously upgrade our infrastructure as it is, rebuild the whole network to high speed standards, yes it will cause disruption but think of the gains.

China has built its new road and rail network in a matter of years to rival anything the west has to offer.

We take a similar time to go through planning.

The destruction of Timbuktu

I had a wonderful lunch at Tate Modern today overlooking perhaps one of the best sky lines in the world (except Hong Kong before we gave it back) and pondered the new half built additions; The Walkie Talkie and the Cheesegrater and wondered what would happen if we were invaded by fundamentalists who came to destroy signs of western decadence.

St Paul's would be the fist to go, followed by the city's skyscrapers and then the consumerist nirvana that is the west end. Then our historical buildings, museums and records would be destroyed.

This is essentially what has happened in Timbuktu. Which has put the French into a foul mood and forced retaliation.

We have stood back at this destruction with mild irritation and confusion and have ignored our history where we have done exactly the same, but that was 100's of years ago and we have moved on since then

Timbuktu was a dusty back water town when I was stationed there and the food was appalling, but its historic buildings were beautiful.

Alas no more.

Tomorrow I am meeting an old Hedgie for lunch in the city. He wishes to be referred to as an Estate Agent now so that people will hate him less.He is a delightful chap and knows his way round a wine list too

Kim, Oil and WW3

All the global arms manufacturers must be rubbing their hands. Since the demise of the cold war and the excuse to stockpile thousands of nuclear weapons they have always been looking for the boogeymen to justify their business of selling tools for killing.

The event with the sky scrapers, evil Saddam and the hunt for the elusive Afghan cave dweller (subsequently found a long way away from Afghanistan) has justified this global hunger for war.

Interest has been waning of late, until now, when the whole of Africa has now become a hot bed of terrorism and tyranny as a direct result of the Arab spring which ensured that weapons left the hands of dictators we knew into the hands of the lunatic fringe that we don't.

And lest should tiny North Korea feel left out here we have little Kim Jong Odd declare his complete hatred for anyone that isn't himself by stating that he is building nuclear weapons so he can fire them at the USA.

I am no left leaning pacifist and my spell in the Army showed me insights into the world that cemented my belief in arming oneself as a deterrent (ie: so that you can retaliate when some lunatic who doesn't like your way of life decides that murdering you is the best way forward) but this blatant war mongering is somewhat tiresome.

I have always maintained the world will be a happier place once the oil runs out.

And if i were Kim I would sack my barber too.

Teenage Kicks

As regular readers of this blog well know i detest the obscene amounts of money footballers earn. A lot of which is diverted through holding companies in off shore tax havens.

Imagine my delight this morning then to see pages upon pages of comments about the actions of one player v a ball boy.

In a world where 1300 billionaires own nearly half the wealth of the planet and yet a 1/4 of the planet do not have access to water, it is good to know that the people of the UK are concerning themselves with whether the actions at a game were intentional or otherwise.

I was out with a property developer friend of mine last night in Soho quaffing a large amount of very agreeable vintage brandy pondering such issues as this. And whether we should be in Europe. There were some lovely media fillies out too. Always a bonus.

EU & the Referendum

So, honest Dave is offering the proletariat a referendum on whether we should be in / out of Europe in 5 years time.

He might as well set out his election manifesto now too.

Europe is such a divisive issue, as are all the other issues that are never tackled head on, like the NHS, the civil service, the welfare state and the black hole that is defence expenditure... One thing that I do know is that I cant bear to listen to 5 years of this, why not have the referendum next week?

Most of the population secretly agree with UKIP and would rather say "No" to Europe because of fears of mass immigration, legislation against straight bananas and our yearly membership fees.

But then again if you gave the public a referendum on hanging then they would want that returned, so their viewpoint cannot always be relied upon...

Honest Dave will be hoping that in 5 years time the Economy will have picked up to the hedonistic heights of the early 00's so that most people would have lost complete interest in a referendum on Europe and will be drooling over the latest holographic Cheryl Cole smart phone, because we know where Dave's vote lies, unfortunately Boris will be in charge by then and looking after the construction of his airport by the sea

Greed & death of the high street

As more shops teeter on the edge of the precipice and we watch the old bastions of the high street enter the graveyard, we can only thank ourselves

Consumerism is the opium of the masses now and products must be bought at the cheapest price at all costs, the internet has provided the place to do it, instant comparisons on everything and the cheapest place to buy anything.

Products are artificially cheap nowadays because a) everything is made in China and b) everything is bought through tax free domiciles.

But alas, when footballers still earn £100,000's per week and the poor struggle to feed their pitbulls who are the real enemy's?

As for poor old WH Smith, an extinct business model, it was nice knowing you...

Harry, Apaches & War

So, Prince Harry has been in Afghanistan shooting at people from the highly sophisticated (and quite frankly terrifying Apache helicopter), nothing like a bit of royalist / nationalist / warmongering jingoism to stir the nations groins and keep our collective mind off the real issues; like why are we still in Afghanistan?

On the positive side at least we now know he wasn't around when Kate conceived.

In my day combat was a little more 'face to face' and not so 'x-box', shooting people from a billion dollar war machine isn't exactly a level playing field. But you could argue at least they have pilots, unlike the remote control machines of death

Perhaps we should send Harry to spend some time with the Algerians who really do know how to get things dirty.

Let it snow

And yet again we have our yearly collective whine about snow disruption. It is now laughably predictable, we have snow, the country stops. Airports close runaways, schools shut because they cant afford the heating bills or a snow inflicted accident / law suit, people forget how to drive and the work shy have even more excuses not to work.

BBC journalists get their favourite North Face / Berghaus jackets out and are flown to remote destinations where snow has fallen. With superlatives they explain the super human effort to rescue a tractor in a field 3 inches deep in snow.

Heathrow has its annual bed in and interviews are held with Joe Public; "why didn't you check with your airline first?", that and "whats it like sleeping on the floor?"

Always times like this when the hard news is buried and the prols excite themselves with almost orgasmic like glee

Since i've been gone..

In my 2 year lawyer imposed exile I have missed commenting on the following events;

The Arab spring

The murder of Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan

The Obama election 2

Levinson

Brookes / Murdoch / Coulson

Plebgate

Lance Armstrong

Jimmy Savile

The murder of Gaddafi in Libya

Cheryl Cole

Manchester City

Mumbai attacks

Japanese Chernobyl

BP and the Deepwater Horizon event

Israel attacking Charity workers and Palestinians

Facebook floating and devaluing instantly

Julian Assange

The Olympics

The Thames Pageant

Such is the price of silence.....

Learning from History

It's a simple thing really; boom & bust. Six years ago I warned all my credit grabbing friends that the bubble would burst. It is not natural to have 110% 5x salary mortgages or interest free 10k limit credit cards. No one listened and here we are 6 years later back in the 1970's and without punk rock or a disco resurgence to look forward to.

Islamic Racism, Irish Nationalism, English claims to wayward Islands, Gun control, Unemployment, discontent.

So HMV and Blockbusters go bust and everyone bemoans their loss yet shop at the internet tax free behemoths that not only have killed the high street (that and ludicrous business rates and feral teenagers)but have contributed zero to our tax coffers.

Wheres this going? Who knows but what I do know is that we have turned into a nation of subservient hypocrites who are more interested in consumerist nirvana than whats going on...

I am back and nothing has changed

It has been a nerving two years, I have been the subject of super injunctions and court orders and I was sworn under oath not to publish anything, blogs, comments, articles for the Beeb, Private Eye or anything that could be read. I even was banned from writing my long awaited novel.

Dreadful times. Now I am back and it feels like I am in the 1970's again, obviously without the Loony Left in Charge and the Unions running amok. Where do I start? Algerian terrorists, Irish Nationalists, the Unemployed, the Banks, Chinese pollutants, American cycling cheats, English kiddy fiddlers, HMV, Blockbusters, Footballers earning £250k a week, Global Corporations, The Falklands (again?) I could go on.

My friend Baxter once said to me "if your not angry, your not paying attention", well I am and I am. In my two years away I have been to China and Russia and some tin pot 3rd world Asian countries that really aren't worth a mention apart from some of the local fillies. Its the skin tone. None of that pasty English grey look...

Cameron has let us OE's down, a shockingly piss poor Prime Minister. I have always said that benign dictatorships are the way to go.

Now where to begin...